She said: "Wake up!" I heard it somewhere afar, I opened my eyes and she continued: " My water broke" it felt like a bucket of ice-water over me, that grabbed me by the collar and hit me against the wall a few times. Now I'm awake even if I slept for 2 hours in last 24. Wait,... but it's October 19th doctors said it's gonna be 20th, I thought I had another day to prepare myself and here it is, I'm standing by the sink drinking water trying to digest the news of course already googling what to do next, some saying not to rush, others saying to rush to the hospital ASAP. 12 hours later we were on our way to the hospital, I'm driving like a turtle thinking how could 7+ months fly by so fast? It seemed like yesterday we were crying over 2 pregnancy tests scared and happy. Everything from there was getting scarier and scarier and just a few words "we gonna make it through" we always do no matter what.
|Our little Tigger is 6 months|
After watching "business of being born" movie we decided NO drugs NO painkillers, just the old-fashion way. Here is your last traffic-light, I've been here many times, but I still looked around to make sure we are in the right place. Hospital places we all "love" and we rushed in, they gave us a bunch of paperwork like we were buying a car, not having a baby, but as I noticed after, we had plenty of time to do that quite a few times. We took our sits filling them (papers) up, the room filled with pregnant women (and their kids) and it was so quiet maybe these women were here every week? I felt like I was the only one freaking out inside my brain. What time is it? I asked myself, and you know we all have a voice inside, at that point I felt like I had 10 and none of them voices wanted to sleep. Okay, it's still 5:45 pm why time is so slow, I thought that I'm gonna be a dad in a few hours, how naive of me, it took us another 12hours.
|almost 8 months, meeting with the mighty ocean.|
You know, we all become memories at some point in other people's life, so whatever you do try to make it a good one. These words follow me all the time and I think there are more people that smile rather than get sad when they hear my name. But this post is not about me at all. It all started when... I don't know when, it just feels like it always been like that or just started, you know I think it happens almost in every young couple's life when you both say "we are not ready" and you make a list of excuses and it's never ending, you scratch one line and 2 more appear. Now every time we get to talk about those times we think how could we live without this lil'guy. The whole idea of being a dad scared me, why? Because I feel like a kid myself. I think the expression "stop being a kid" is just so wrong. Still, all I had to do is just be there, the hardest job was on her, and that's where it was scariest, the idea of being useless when you can't really help or relieve the pain. When all you can do is yell the count 1,...2,...3,... and scream with her, so she won't disconnect from this world, watching Cardiotocography noticing how she steps into the hell and back, yet his heart beats like music to my ears and you implore her to PUSH realizing that she has no strength, but somehow she manages to still push.
Few days after, I still can't wake up from this dream, I still can't get used to a crying baby, you wake up at night every time you hear a noise just to see that she is already with him, I'm so helpless. Changing a diaper might look like an easy job when she does it. When you do it it's more like quantum mechanics and you have zero knowledge of what is that yet you do it only to see her mad eyes when all the poop came out (ew, I know)
3 months, his eyes, his smell, he even smiles when he sleeps, they say he dreams angels and he does it 19h/day, sometimes you just want to wake him up only to hear his voice. He still looks at you like "Dude, who are you and what are you doing next to my mom?" He loves taking a bath and splashes both of us.
6 months, he is already standing holding on to his crib trying to bite its edge, we are waiting on his teeth.
|Costume that mommy knitted while she was pregnant.|
9 months, Baby Aiden walks now and it feels like a dream, yes - like a dream, mostly, I think it will take a while to get used to a 3rd part of me. While all the memories are so fresh I still can remember how she used to wake me up, getting close to my back with her belly and our lil'guy was kicking me to wake up.
Aiden - 9 months in and 9 months out + 2 of us in summer 2009, same spot at Red Top Mountain, GA
joolgg3z23sd vddeexedfx- that's what he just typed asking for more. You kind of sing "mango-mango, mango-mango" and he starts to dance, it's really funny I tell you. The best part is that we have so many expectations from and he has almost none back except to be there to wish him "sweet dream" and be there to watch them dreams come true. Happy BirthDay my Boy, I know one day you'll read this. We love you to the moon and back. Always your Mommy and Daddy.